That blog title alone, says it all. You know my feelings about dead lifts. Especially if you read my blog a couple weeks ago called, The Five Best Exercises Besides Squats and Dead Lifts. They are literally the ultimate. Here are 41 reasons how to make them your ultimate. The “sex” part of the title should be understood by you very shortly.
All is right with this picture. Great lift. Great beard. Scary “pick that shit up” glare in the background.
1.) Dead lifts are pound for pound the best overall exercise on the face of this earth. It aids in lung capacity, muscle growth, fat burn, joint health, chemical release, and buttocks hardening.
2.) Not everyone on the face of this earth should dead lift though. Leave it to those who will benefit from it. (Sorry people trying to restore health and those with severe injuries like hernia or back problems).
3.) Dead lifts are like sex positions. There are many ways to do it, and they all get the same result in the end.
4.) The difference for dead lifts however is where you put the load. . .
. . .by load I mean weight distribution, you dirty minded freaks.
5.) Here are my recommended loads: Barbell dead lifts, Hex Bar Dead Lifts, Dumbbell Dead Lifts, and Rack Dead Lifts.
6.) Dumbbell Dead Lifts should be used most for those who have no business picking up anything heavy. Since dead lifts are so money, you still should do them somehow. Dumbbell dead lifts are great for recovery from a lower back injury. Heavy lifters can dumbbell dead lift as well, just to change up the “load”.
Trap/Hex Bar Dead Lifts. Refer to Number 7.
7.) Hex Bar dead lifts are best for women and those learning how to dead lift for the first time. There’s only one way to pick hex bars up, so they are great at flawless form.
8.) Rack dead lifts can be done once a month to help those who have trouble with finishing the top part of there lifts.
9.) Barbell dead lifts rock some socks off.
10.) If you do the same type of dead lift over and over again, without getting any results, that is exactly why. You need to change up your lifts.
11.) Every 5 weeks, you should at least take one week off completely from dead lifting.
12.) Here’s my recomended 5 week dead lift plan: Week 1 – Barbell, Week 2 – Barbell, Week 3 – Hex Bar, Week 4 – Dumbbell or Rack Dead, Week 5 – Hot tub.
13.) While most people think dead lifts are the main cause of back pain, they can also be the main cure for back pain.
14.) Most dead lift related injuries are caused by the negative part of the lift. Meaning, after you pick it up . . . putting it back down. If you take your sweet time putting down the bar, muscle strain is likely to happen.
15.) Two words: Wave load.
16.) Use wrist straps on your high rep heavy sets that way your grip won’t fail you, and it keeps you from letting go of the bar.
17.) Use chalk for your low rep heavy sets.
18.) If you don’t use either, try a switch grip (one hand over, and one hand under) to avoid bar slippage.
19.) Never use weight belts, unless you like picking up shit without using your core.
20.) I wouldn’t consider yourself an expert dead lifter until about 5 years of experience.
21.) Dead lifts are the only exercise I recommend ever doing for one rep (heavy of course).
22.) You should never, ever, ever do stiff legged dead lifts. You’re asking for a popped hamstring. Stiff is not a good load. *chuckle, chuckle, chuckle*
24.) For women trying to get amazing legs, dead lifts are the way to go. Quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves . . . it does it all.
Refer to Number 24
25.) For men trying to get a wide back and large traps, dead lifts are the way to go.
26.) For proper form, step up to the middle of the bar, with your feet a little less than shoulder width apart.
27.) Bend over and grab (the bar) right outside of your ankles. If you grab (the bar) in front of your ankles, when you pick (the bar) up, your knees bending will cause the bar to be lifted away from your body. That’s a hell no in the “safe lifting” department.
28.) Pick the bar up as close to your body as possible. Stand erect at the top.
29.) Your chest is the most important part of a dead lift. If your chest is facing the ground, you physically cannot stand up straight. Once the bar is off the ground, rise your chest, push with your legs, stand up straight, and squeeze your butt cheeks as if your trying to break a pencil.
30.) Look straight ahead. If you look sideways when lifting up a bar, it realigns your vertabrae, causing you to potentially have a neck strain.
31.) The less space in between your feet and the floor, the better and more natural the lift will be. Take your shoes off if your gym allows it.
32.) If you drop the weight on your foot, you are dead lifting completely wrong.
33.) If you look like you are humping the bar at the end of your lift, just put it down. It hurts me to watch that.
34.) Never go on your tippy toes. In fact, apply all your pressure in your heels and push them on the floor.
35.) Dead lifts, when done with proper weight, release massive amounts of testosterone in the human body based solely on the amounts of muscles your using.
36.) Though women don’t carry much testosterone, the little that is released still can create muscle to “firm, shape, tone, pop” or whatever froo-froo term you’d like to use.
37.) Men . . . testoterone is your friend. You need it to build muscle and you need muscle to burn fat.
38.) Dead lifts and potatoes go together like gin and tonic.
39.) Shitty part is that dead lifts and wedgies also go together like gin and tonic.
40.) Proper celebratories after an epic dead lift set is either a fist pound with your partner or laying on the ground. Walking around like you inflatable floaties on is not allowed.
41.) They are called DEAD lifts for a reason. Let the bar rest on the ground before you begin to pick it up for your next rep. ALIVE lifts are when people bounce the bar off the ground.
So remember these important facts. Dead lifts are like sex position. Stay erect. Never stiff. Change your load spots. Grab outside the ankles. Don’t wear shoes. Swith your grip to avoid slippage. Here’s to dead lifts!
Sorry Mom,
Geoff Morehart
